"Queen Victoria? Of what, England?" Dean snorted.
"The one and only."
"You're joking!" Sam laughed.
"Not at all."
"But that means—" Sam began.
"He's freaking ancient. Are you immortal, Spaceman?"
"No. Didn't I tell you? I travel through time."
"Uh, no, sure as hell didn't." Dean said.
"So how old are you?" Sam queried.
"You wouldn't believe me if I told you." He grinned at his secret.
"Look, you said it yourself, I've died several times. Normal isn't in our vocabulary. So, try me."
He sighed reluctantly. "Nine hundred—"
"No, you're shitting me," Dean exclaimed.
"Whatever you prefer to think."
They were interrupted by the arrival of the food.
Dean made a face as the waitress held up the first plate. "Fish sticks and…custard for…?"
The Doctor took it eagerly.
Dean got his burgers next, and Sam his salad, after which the group settled into a lull as they ate.
A minute or so into their meal, Sam's phone vibrated with another message.
He's the weirdest bastard we've met yet. And that says something.
Sam suppressed a laugh.
Yeah. He's different. Nice to meet someone not trying to kill us, huh?
He only grunted in response.
"You said you'd met angels," Sam broke the silence as they ate. "What are they like in your universe?"
"Stone sociopathic killers." He swallowed hard, his expression growing sad.
"So, what, no smiting, or destroying hosts, no blood sigils in Enochian?" Dean asked.
"No, none of the sort," The Doctor replied quietly.
"So what do they do then? Still have wings? Do they fly?"
"No. No, they don't fly. They're so fast, they essentially teleport."
"Huh, sounds pretty tame to me," Dean rejoined. "At least they don't come at you waving their shiny swords, insisting you help them end the world."
"No. They come quietly, and when you see them, it's too late." His voice dropped to a mumble at the end of the sentence.
"But you've seen them, and survived," Sam prompted, curiosity rising.
"Few do." He stared out the window as he replied.
"Well then, good for you, ET." Dean joked.
The Doctor's gaze snapped back onto the room.
He looked Dean in the face, cold, as he said, an unnerving edge of bitterness in his voice, "Yes, yes, good for me, good for me, living while my friends die."
Dean's expression fell. "I, uh, that's terrible."
"We didn't know," Sam offered, guilt prickling inside him.
"No, You wouldn't know."
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,021 Literary Works • 672,738 Reviews
So. Great Characters. Fun Banter. Nice references. Good pacing. I'm still waiting for something crazy to happen though, but moving on...
In the past you put the texts in italics, which made it really easy to read. I'm assuming you just forgot here. No biggie, I do things like that all the time.Those glorious nitpicks:
And here is another example of you can employ my favorite words, drum roll please, Show Don't tell. ly ending adverbs are very telling. Once again, sometimes for the sake of clarity and brevity, you need to use them, but if you can at all avoid using them, then don't (Read: You can avoid using them in this piece) It can be pretty annoying to do this at first, but it gets easier the more you do it and it makes your writing so much stronger. Just dive back into the recesses of your writer brain and really flesh out the scene, imagine your character saying these things. How would he say it? What would his face like like as he said? What might his body do while of after he says it? Answering even just one fo these questions is usually plenty and can replace those pesky ly adverbs.
Okay, so I know I said I wanted action-y things, but that ending, with the doctor getting all dark and moody, that's enough...for now...
really though, I love the turn you gave it at the end. While we have had some serious moments, it's been pretty jovial, and this new tone is nice.
I'm going to guess this occurs after Amy and Rory? *Cries internal tears* Poor doctor...
Anyway, it looks like this is the last you have posted. Hopefully my many ramblings have helped you somewhat, but if not, at least i was entertained. xD
Feel free to send me a message when the next chapter is up, and Happy writing!
It's me again! I review one of your other chapters, because I love Doctor Who. I really don't like Supernatural, but that doesn't matter.
It was really cool how you mentioned Queen Victoria. I was slightly confused though- would I not have been if I'd read the last chapter? I mean, why were they talking about her? Was the Doctor telling them how she got bitten?
I think I mentioned this last time, but you have so much dialogue. There is nothing wrong with that; you could say that it is a script. But you want it to be a story, don't you? So add in some actions.
That's all from me. It was enjoyable to read.
Yeah, I got kinda carried away with the references/dialogue. It is pretty script-y. Not much going on except for the characters to talk to each other, so I'm not entirely sure what to have them do. lol And yeah reading the last chapter might have helped.
Although it's all pretty fragmented, the brothers going back and forth with the Doctor just asking questions and stuff since they have never met each other before.